Gift giving among friends stems from the value Chinese culture places on relationships and reciprocity. Exchanging gifts is part of the social glue of obligations and favors that builds friendships and gets things done in China.
Buying gifts for Chinese friends can be a real challenge outside of China where it may not be clear how faithfully people adhere to traditional customs. While there’s much written about gift etiquette in China, this guide will help you pick the perfect gift when your friend’s baby shower, housewarming party or birthday dinner occurs right here in the United States.
Think about your relationship before you shop. How traditional is your friend? How formal is your relationship? and, How serious is the occasion?
Now, lock in this rule of thumb. Formal relationships with traditional people at serious occasions call for more traditional gifts, while casual relationships with contemporary people at informal occasions call for less traditional gifts.
Check out our favorite gift ideas below for inspiration, then use the etiquette tips at the end of this article to help you navigate the most common gift giving situations and pick the perfect item.
For the Tea Lover
Glass Tea Pot with Bamboo Lid
A thin, lightweight and durable glass tea pot that will delight even your most design-conscious of friends. This modern take on a classic shape features a bamboo lid with a coil attachment that filters out tea from inside the pitcher.
Authentic Hong Kong Style Milk Tea
This milk tea blend will bring a smile to any Hong Konger in your life. Sourced from Hong Kong master blenders with decades of experience, this hand-crafted blend of tea leaves produces an authentic, silky smooth naih cha.
Complete Bubble Tea Kit
Now you can create your own bubble tea shop in the comfort of your own kitchen, dorm room or office break area. This complete kit includes everything you need to get your boba fix — three tea flavors, tapioca pearls, cups, straws and a shaker.
Double Walled Glass Tea Infuser
A simple, yet elegant way to brew a cup of tea for one person. This 10 ounce double walled glass tea infuser cup is made from hand-blown glass that keeps your tea warm while protecting your hand from the heat.
For the Design Maven
2022 Year of the Tiger Tote Bag
An ideal bag for running errands around town, this sturdy tote stylishly celebrates the 2022 Year of the Tiger. It’s decorated on both sides with a festive red zodiac tiger and the Chinese American Family letter logo on a natural background. At only $20, it’s also a great deal.
Gold Fortune Cookie Box
Use this playful display piece from Bey Berk to store tiny treasures or present a special gift. This gold-toned fortune cookie is hinged and closes with a snap. Also available in silver.
Lucky Socks
Need a little bit of extra luck for your next work presentation or social engagement? Wear a whimsical collection of Chinese good luck symbols on your feet with these fun crew socks. Available in red, gold and turquoise.
Kobo D’Anjou Lychee Soy Candle
Transport yourself to China and elevate your senses with the fresh, heavenly aromas of lychee, jasmine and quince in this natural soy candle. Individually hand-poured using domestic soy wax and lead-free cotton wicks, Kobo makes the cleanest burning, most planet friendly candles on the market.
Chinese Patterns Creative Paper
These fine-quality 19″ x 27″ sheets pop with 12 contemporary designs inspired by traditional Chinese motifs. Suitable for crafting or wrapping gifts, these beautiful designs are sure to make projects more personal and expressive.
For the Home Entertainer
Tea Fishermen
This set of 4 tea holders evoking the old Chinese story of Jiang Taigong won the China Design Challenge. Each of the fishermen comes with a fishhook and will sit patiently on the side of your mug while securely holding your tea bag.
Dim Sum Tea Towels
Super-soft and decorated with your favorite dim sum treats, these cozy towels might just be the perfect housewarming or hostess gift. Decorated with hand-drawn egg tarts, siu mai, pork buns or shrimp dumplings in your choice of black, blue or red on white cotton twill.
Natural Rosewood Chopsticks
Add a touch of class to any dinner party with 10 pairs of these natural rosewood chopsticks. They’re expertly balanced to fit well in the hand and are burnished with a beautiful deep mahogany color.
Chinese Egg Tart Tins
Combine a set of these baking tins with a note card filled out with our classic Chinese egg tart recipe to create a terrific DIY gift. There’s absolutely nothing better than a fresh egg tart served warm from your oven.
For the Urban Apartment Dweller
Red Lacquer Ballpoint Pen
A perfect gift for the rising young executive, this elegant Parker Sonnet ballpoint pen combines the Chinese red and gold colors for luck and prosperity. Hand assembled and packaged in a premium gift box.
Chinese Food Magnets
Liven up the refrigerator in any downtown apartment with these adorable magnets featuring a feast of classic Chinese foods like Lion’s Head Meatballs, noodle soup, red bean soup, black sesame dumplings and steamed rice.
Double Happiness Pulls
Add a little joy to your living space with these brass cabinet door pulls in the shape of the Chinese characters for “double happiness.” The Chinese Brass Hardware collection also includes many other clasps, locks and hinges in both traditional and contemporary Chinese designs.
Baijiu: The Essential Guide to Chinese Spirits
Baijiu is simultaneously the world’s most consumed liquor by volume and still relatively unknown outside of China. Travel the final frontier of great world alcohols with this comprehensive and practical guide from author Derek Sandhaus.
For the Home Chef
Outdoor Wok Stove
Producing up to 65,000 BTUs (a typical home range gives about 10,000), this propane burner is the closest you’ll come to what chefs use at a Chinese restaurant. This package from Eastman comes with a 22-inch carbon steel wok that easily accommodates all of your stir frying needs.
Hong Kong Egg Waffle Maker
Fill your home with the aroma of a classic Hong Kong street snack. Serve egg waffles for an excellent after school snack or even roll them into a cone for a decadent ice cream treat.
Phoenix Claws and Jade Trees
Winner of the 2016 IACP Julia Child First Book Award, chef Kian Lam Kho offers a unique introduction to Chinese cooking, demystifying it by focusing on its basic cooking methods. Accompanied by more than 200 photographs, this cook book is perhaps the best manual for aspiring Chinese home chefs.
Bamboo Cleaning Whisk
Effective and elegant, this classic bamboo whisk will leave you wondering how something so simple manages to clean so well. A brisk swirling motion under running water scrubs clean any pan without leaving scratches behind. It feels like magic.
For the Active Grandparent
Chinese Herbal Medicine Cooker
This Chinese herbal medicine cooker takes the hassle out of a time-consuming process. Simply place the ingredients prepared by the herbalist into the cooker, add the specified amount of water, plug in the unit and the medicine will automatically be reduced to one bowl, as prescribed.
Microplush Heated Blanket
Help a grandparent preheat cold sheets, before resting easy in silky softness and cozy warmth. This heated microplush blanket features a warming system that senses and adjusts to deliver consistent warmth and comfort all night.
Sandalwood Fans
A sandalwood fan has been a favorite for ladies of all ages since the Qing Dynasty because it emits a fragrance that boosts a woman’s elegance and femininity. The aroma of a quality sandalwood fan can stay for as long as eight years.
White Rabbit Candy
This Shanghai “time-honored brand” holds a special place in the hearts of many of the city’s adult residents, as the candy of choice for most Chinese youngsters growing up in previous decades. These creamy, milky candies with edible rice paper wrappers carry the wish for sweetness in the year ahead.
For the Office Worker
Chinese Lunch Box
Traditionally, Chinese workers used these metal food carriers to keep multiple dishes of rice, soup, vegetables, meat or fish separate and hot. The durable stainless steel design features a tight clasp that holds the various layers in place, along with a sturdy handle that makes the lunch box easy to carry.
Sitting Foo Dog Bookends
Commonly referred to as “foo dogs,” these figures actually represent lions and are traditionally placed at building entrances to act as guardians. Place this mirrored pair, one male and one female, on an office bookshelf to create an immediate conversation starter for passersby.
Bamboo Tumbler
Impress others around the conference table with this sleek bamboo tumbler, a definite upgrade over an office-standard paper coffee cup. An included 2-piece infuser makes this tumbler ideal for brewing tea, but it’s also suitable for holding any hot beverage.
Shine Brightly! Journal
Take important meeting notes in style with this beautiful hardcover journal that features a luxurious soft-touch finish and 75 pages of lined paper inside. Red and gold Chinese lanterns for good luck carry encouragement to shine brightly at the office!
For the Artist
Chinese Calligraphy Set
A high quality calligraphy set that includes 4 brushes, an ink stone, a wooden stamp, an ink slab, an ink stick, a brush rest and a water well, all presented in a nice gift box. This is a perfect set for beginners just starting to learn about the Chinese art of calligraphy.
Chinese Scissors
These scissors are another classic Chinese design that has withstood the test of time. With their super-sharp blades and fine points, the scissors in this set can cut meat, rope, plants and so much else — they’ll be right at home in any artist’s toolbox for endless hobby and craft projects.
Chinese Watercolor Paints
Chinese watercolor paints are highly pigmented and concentrated, allowing for a wide variation of tone in washes. This deluxe 12-color set from Marie’s is just what an artist needs for Chinese style painting and calligraphy on rice paper or silk.
2020 Taishan Calendar
Photographer Richard ‘S’ Lee documents contemporary life in Taishan, China, the ancestral homeland for millions of Cantonese-speaking overseas Chinese. In this 2020 calendar, the selected photos bear witness to an emerging modernity unimaginable until recent times.
For the Curious Child
Bilingual Domino Set
This 100 piece domino play set provides a wonderful way for children to learn a basic Chinese vocabulary. Each domino contains a picture of a familiar object like a fruit, animal or household item with its English name, Chinese character and phonetic pronunciation.
Asian Family Play Figures
Children develop language and social skills through imaginative play. Help kids bring their stories to life in their image with this play family of wooden dolls from Hape, which includes a father, mother, grandma, grandpa, a boy and a girl.
Lucky Stickers
Kids love stickers! Help bring a young child’s ideas to life with a full collection of Chinese good luck symbols including red envelopes, lanterns, auspicious foods, firecrackers and gold ingots. Available in packs of 100, 200 and 500 stickers.
Model Airplanes
Relive your child’s recent trip to Asia with a model airplane of the carrier your family flew. Air China, Cathay Pacific, EVA and American airlines serving the region are all available. Send those young imaginations flying.
Tea Collection’s Asia Archive
The good folks at Tea Collection travel the world, then bring the beauty of international cultures and modern design to children’s clothing. Over the years, they’ve build an archive of kids’ clothing inspired by the animals, blossoms and motifs found across Asia. You’ll love them.
For the Playful Baby
Luck & Prosperity Fleece Baby Blanket
Wrap the baby in warm wishes for luck and prosperity with this ultra-soft fleece blanket featuring traditional Chinese gold ingots on a vibrant red background. The perfect gift for new parents.
Celebrating Chinese Festivals
This is the best children’s book I’ve found about Chinese festivals. Bright illustrations, playful characters, recipes and folklore tidbits bring Chinese New Year, the Dragon Boat Festival, the Mid-Autumn Festival and more to life.
Uncle Goose Chinese Building Blocks
Build a child’s animal vocabulary one block at a time with these 32, 1.75″ basswood cubes from Uncle Goose. Each block reveals a Chinese character for animal, its English translation, a phonetic pronunciation and a stroke grid. The perfect addition to any nursery.
Abundant Joy Nursery Collection
Lucky swimming fish decorate this collection of baby blankets, crib sheets, lovies and changing pad covers. These playful golden carp on a baby blue background fill any nursery with good fortune, abundance and strength.
Little Egg Tart Onesie
Boston-based designer Lillian Lee, creator of the Empty Bamboo Girl comic, authors love letters to her American born Chinese life. Is your little one a silly egg tart? This delightful onesie features a Chinese bakery and dim sum staple that comes with a sweet smile…and filling!
For the College Freshman
LEGO Shanghai Building Kit
This 529-piece LEGO building set makes an ideal dorm room conversation-starter. Measuring over 9″ tall, this skyline model includes the Chenghuang Miao Temple, Longhua Temple and Pagoda, Radisson Blu Hotel, Bund area, Oriental Pearl, World Financial Center and the Shanghai Tower.
Beijing Opera Mask Bottle Opener
A bottle opener adorned with a classic symbol of the Chinese opera. Note that in the Beijing opera, the color of the mask implies the personality of the character — in this case, red means loyalty.
China Adult Coloring Book
The perfect study break, this adult coloring book features classic Chinese maps, images and motifs. Perfect for relaxation or stress relief when the pressure of midterms approaches.
Dorm-Sized Kettle
Let’s add this miniature hot water kettle from Bonavita to the college back-to-school list. Clocking in at just 0.5L, it’s the perfect size for quickly warming just enough water for a late-night mug of tea or a bowl of noodles.
For the Bookworm
The Chinese in America
The best narrative history of the Chinese American experience from the California Gold Rush through present day. The book covers contributions to American life, efforts to overcome discrimination and everyday immigrant stories about working to succeed in a new country.
Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy
The 2018 Warner Brothers release of Crazy Rich Asians brought author Kevin Kwan big screen fame and fortune. Gift all three novels in the Crazy Rich Asians series (China Rich Girlfriend and Rich People Problems are the other two) and you’ll make one fan in your life very happy.
How to American
Jimmy O. Yang is a standup comedian, film and TV actor and fan favorite in the HBO series Silicon Valley and the film Crazy Rich Asians. In How to American, he shares his story of growing up as a Chinese immigrant who pursued a Hollywood career against the wishes of his parents.
Number One Chinese Restaurant
Author Lillian Li shares a debut novel about the complicated lives and loves of people working in a neighborhood’s favorite Chinese restaurant. Along the way, she examines all the ways that our families destroy us, while also keeping us grounded and alive.
For the Nostalgic Traveler
Beijing Map Coasters
Handmade from natural Sapele wood, these beautiful coasters contain a finely detailed map of Beijing. A wonderful and bold addition to any coffee table, you can also choose from Shanghai, Xi’an and Hong Kong city maps.
4D Shanghai Cityscape Puzzle
Rebuild Shanghai’s famous skyline in 3D using scale-model buildings, while adding a fourth dimension…time. This puzzle uses 72 scale-model buildings spanning more than 100 years of architectural development from the historic buildings along The Bund to the futuristic Shanghai Tower.
San Francisco Travel Poster
A 1950s-era United Airlines travel poster by artist Joseph Feher that depicts a cable car rolling through San Francisco Chinatown with the Bay Bridge in the distance. Measures 13 x 19 inches and printed on premium silk finish coated paper.
Hong Kong Food & Culture
This book reads like a love letter to Hong Kong, faithfully covering every aspect of the city’s food culture. Experience Hong Kong’s fascinating culinary life through the eyes of local artisans, restaurateurs and street side hawkers, while learning classic Hong Kong-style recipes along the way.
For the Screen Addict
My Life in China
Upon their visit to rural China for the first time in 18 years, director Kenneth Eng and his father retrace the perilous steps his father chanced in search of a better life. A movie sure to resonate with Chinese Americans born in the United States with parents who emigrated from China.
The Chinese Exclusion Act
Originally aired nationally on PBS, this seminal documentary from Ric Burns and Li-Shin Yu examines the 1882 law prohibiting the immigration of Chinese laborers. After digesting the law’s origin, history and impact, get out and bring attention to what remains an underreported and misunderstood period in American history.
Maya Lin – A Strong Clear Vision
Though the Vietnam Veterans Memorial became one of the most beloved memorials in the world, Maya Lin’s design was initially greeted with skepticism and outrage. Freida Lee Mock’s documentary explores the creation of the monument and Lin herself, an unknown architect prior to the monument’s creation.
The Joy Luck Club
For adults who came of age during the 1980s, The Joy Luck Club is probably the most widely-recognized movie about Chinese American life and family relationships. The film reveals how lives are shaped as four mothers and daughters strive to understand their family bonds and one another.
For the Backyard Gardener
Rattan Garden Basket
This Nantucket-style basket incorporates Indonesian palms and the classic Chinese technique for weaving rattan housewares. Use this basket out in the garden to carry shovels, trowels and other essential tools.
The Great Gardens of China
Did you know that the garden, as a place for refined pleasure and relaxation, has its roots in ancient China? Use The Great Gardens of China to find inspiration for your own space in the intricacy, elaborate buildings and subtle design found in Chinese landscapes.
Beijing Filigree Garden Stool
Based on classic Chinese fretwork, this glazed ceramic garden stool fits beautifully in both contemporary or traditional Chinese settings. Crafted with glazed ceramic and finished in antique white, this stool looks great indoors and outdoors.
The Chinese Kitchen Garden
Wendy Kiang-Spray shares growing information for 38 Chinese vegetables —think lotus root, garlic, chives, and eggplant — paired with 25 traditional recipes like congee, dumplings and bok choy stir fry. Organized by season, you’ll learn what to grow in your backyard vegetable garden all year long.
Gift Giving Etiquette Tips
Qualities of a Great Gift
The key notion that’s important to keep in mind is that your gift is a symbol of the strength of your relationship. It’s the thoughtfulness of the gift that counts, and not necessarily the value of the item itself.
I’ve always found these themes useful when picking gifts:
1. Focus on quality. Headlines touting Apple electronics and gaudy gift baskets make it seem like expensive luxury goods are the only way to go. To the contrary, great gifts are simply comprised of quality design, materials and craftsmanship.
2. Pick local specialties. Perhaps it stems from a time when China was more of a closed society, but hard-to-find regional items are always prized. Give something that your local community is particularly known for.
3. Fall back on sweetness. Wishing the recipient a “sweet life” underlies many common Chinese gifts. Specialty chocolates, cakes and round fruits (except pears) all have a long tradition of conveying good fortune.
4. Don’t forget presentation. Wrap the gift well using a sturdy gift box, colored paper and ribbons. Red paper and gold ribbon is the most classic color combination.
You’ll find more traditional gifts explicitly feature these qualities, while a less traditional gift might feature these elements more subtly. Either way, they provide a thematic consistency that’s distinctly Chinese.
As an example, here are three of my favorite go-to gift ideas for Chinese friends.
1. Specialty ChocolatesThese make for a nice casual gift. I shop from Jade Chocolates, a gourmet San Francisco chocolatier incorporating Chinese ingredients like souchang tea and tamari almonds.
2. Good Red WineWine gifts are received as a toast to the recipient’s health. Red stands for good luck, of course, and nearby Napa Valley provides countless high quality, local options to choose from.
3. Fine TeaTea is to the Chinese what coffee is to Americans. I shop for high quality tea at San Francisco’s Red Blossom Tea Company, a family business that works with small farmers in China.
Common Taboos
Once you have a great gift idea, you’ll want to screen it against these basic superstitions to avoid any last potential for awkwardness.
1. Avoid unlucky numbers. Avoid the number 4 because it sounds like death. Even numbers are better than odd and sets of 6 or 8 are particularly auspicious.
2. Avoid unlucky colors. Avoid white and black boxes and wrapping paper. These colors are used in funerals and generally connote death. Don’t write your card or gift tag in red ink for the same reason.
3. Avoid these specific gifts. Don’t ever give clocks, shoes, cut flowers, handkerchiefs, umbrellas, towels or sharp objects like knives and scissors. They all symbolize various flavors of bad luck, death and separation.
4. No green hats. An article about Chinese gift giving wouldn’t be complete without mentioning green hats. Simply put, they imply that a man’s wife is unfaithful. I can’t think of a reason to give someone a green hat, but regardless, just don’t do it.
Gift giving is challenging under any circumstance, made more so when there’s a cultural element potentially at play. Apply these guidelines, explicitly in traditional settings and more subtly in casual settings, and you’ll end up with a winning gift every time.
Your turn! Do you have a favorite gift idea? I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below!
HT: Photo by Tranquil Tuesdays with gift paper by Paper Tiger Shanghai.
Deana Patterson
A wonderful Asian lady introduced me to dragon fruit…and as a special thank you..I was thinking I would like to get her a set if windchines …would that be OK
Wes Radez
Hi Deana, taken through a Chinese lens, this is a great gift idea and wonderful show of reciprocity (especially if the chimes make a sweet sound), though I can’t speak to other Asian cultures. ~Wes
Dani
I’m confused some of these gifts are colors I’ve been told to avoid. White, black and blue. I’m trying to find out if a gift the color of copper is good or bad. Thank you.
Wes Radez
Hi Dani, thanks for your question. It’s really a question of context, in terms of the occasion, relationship and recipient. The more traditional the setting, the more you’ll want to adhere to etiquette like generally avoiding white and black in the dominant colors, boxes and wrapping paper, which can connote death. You should be fine with a copper color, which closely resembles gold, for good luck. ~Wes
nancy
My Kung Fu Shifu is a dear man and everyone loves him as a teacher, friend and mentor. He has more tea, wine, candy, rice cookers, etc. than anyone could ever believe. I am a tudi and his administrative assistant. Always at a loss for gift ideas.
Wes Radez
I understand that challenge, Nancy. I hope you were able to find some inspiration in this list of ideas! ~Wes
Cristy illiot
Good day. Is it ok to give fruits as a gift this Christmas? If it’s ok, what kind of fruits can u suggest? Thank you very much. I’m waiting for anyone’s reply and suggestions. I really need it on Sunday. Thank you again.
Merry Christmas.
Wes Radez
Hi Cristy, yes fruits are a common gift — pick nice round ones that symbolize wholeness and unity. A basket of oranges is classic, but apples, peaches and plums are good, too. ~Wes
John Rohsenow
Chinese Holidays 2017–
Last year’s! Please update for 2018!!!
Wes Radez
You’ve got it, John! The site is now updated for 2018 holiday dates! ~Wes
Pete
Could i give a chopstick gift set, with dip bowls as a gift for my lady friend, she has shown me great kindness and i am stuck for gift ideas as she doesnt really eat sweet things i am going to visit her in march and am really stuck.
Wes Radez
Sounds like a great gift, Pete. The nicer, the better! ~Wes
Maria Pia Melissa Seño
I have a Chinese friend…is it okay if I give a painting of their baby for a gift?
Wes Radez
Hi Maria, I’d suggest you check out our page of baby gifts! ~Wes
Tami
I have a dear friend who was just diagnosed with cancer. I want to give her a “box of sunshine”. It is a box of all sorts of yellow items (thoughtfully selected) given in a yellow box. It is meant to represent the sun shining in even the darkest times. Is it appropriate to give her a gift of yellow things at such a time? I want to be sensitive to this as I know that she is very particular about numbers and pears.
Wes Radez
Hi Tami, it’s a sweet thought and I’m not aware of any specific superstitions around yellow objects. In general, for a sick friend, think “restorative” and “rejuvenating.” ~Wes
Ruth Groundwater
Hello. I would really like to buy a gift for someone that is at my work place. He is the manager at one of the restaurants here in Australia. He ordered and paid for many creams that my boyfriend needs for his skin. It was so very kind and unexpected.
Was thinking a great wine or whiskey. Or whiskey glasses
Wes Radez
It’s a sweet gesture, Ruth. While those gifts don’t have a particular cultural significance, I don’t see any problem, provided he’s a wine or whiskey drinker. ~Wes
Steve
I am thinking of giving a pair of 8″ cloisonné’s to my future in laws (my son is marrying a Chinese woman). They are a lovely pair, most likely released from China after 1979. Is this appropriate? I also acquired an antique (from 1923) Mahjong game in a box with bone pieces. Is this an appropriate gift to a Chinese couple? Thank you.
Wes Radez
Hi Steve, those sound like beautiful objects. They become wonderful gifts, if you have a particular personal connection with them, such that giving them strengthens your relationship with your future in laws. Perhaps combine them with a local specialty from your family’s town or an item that has a particular resonance with your son’s upbringing or your family history. ~Wes
Joy McElroy
Would you give money and fresh flowers or a personal jewelry gift with a card for a graduation gift?
Wes Radez
Thanks for your question, Joy. Graduation is a great opportunity to celebrate a new beginning. If you can make it to Chinatown, I’d suggest a cash gift in a red envelope decorated with a sailboat (symbolizing a new venture), which you can combine with a jewelry gift. Together, that sounds like a wonderful, and personal, graduation gift. ~Wes
Law
My girlfriend is Chinese from Shanghai and we have a daughter together. I’m trying to find a gift idea for her on Mother’s Day in addition to 22 roses that I already purchased. She’s not into jewelry or sweet things and doesn’t drink tea that much. She does like to travel, though. I feel as if she’s especially hard to buy gifts for. Any suggestions?
Wes Radez
Hi Law, Definitely! Try checking out our article Fresh Mother’s Day Gift Ideas for Your Chinese Mom. ~Wes
Anne
My sister and I visited our older brother’s wife in Hong Kong during a cold January. She was offended that we bought her a comforter because she said you buy a person a new blanket for their coffin. We were both brought up here in the U.S. She also blamed my mother for not teaching us properly because we didn’t bring oranges to visit her.
Wes Radez
Hi Anne, thanks so much for sharing your experience. These situations are definitely challenging! You’ve reminded me to fall back on thinking about the nature of the relationship…the more traditional the recipient, the more conservative the gift is my general rule of thumb. ~Wes
Alejandro
Hi Wes, great page! I’m the owner of a tiny retail space and my new lodger is a Taiwanese widow ready to open a food takeaways business. I’d like to give her some present to wish good luck without offending her or suggest a romantic intention. I’d appreciate some advice. Thank you very much.
Wes Radez
Hi Alejandro, great question! So, the basic themes you want to shoot for are prosperity, luck and longevity. There are some super-traditional gifts available wishing luck for a new venture, but they’d require a trip to a Chinese goods store. Failing that, a bottle of red wine (good fortune), white wine (prosperity), a bowl of peaches (longevity) or a high quality looseleaf tea (a reliable general gift) would all fit the bill. As important, when you present the gift, is your wish that her business succeed! Good luck! ~Wes
Anonymous
Is it okay to give your friend from China a portrait? It’s our picture together. She is my manager. I just want her to know that I like her and I just want her to know that I’m very thankful that I met her.
Wes Radez
Hi there! Sounds like a fun idea, I’m not aware of any cultural reason this would cause a problem. ~Wes
Dyana Petro
Hi Wes! Thank you for your insights. My 18 y.o. son is traveling to Taiwan and will be meeting an 18 y.o. Taiwanese boy and 16 y.o. Taiwanese girl for the first time. Their father is sponsoring my son for a one day internship with his company and his children will also be present. My son wanted to bring them each a gift from American, but doesn’t know what will be appropriate. Can you give us any suggestions?
Wes Radez
Hi Dyana, thanks for your question! When traveling overseas, my best suggestion is something from your home area. Pick something age appropriate specialty from your town and that should make a good gift for the kids. Same goes for your adult hosts. ~Wes
G
Dear Wes,
I’m traveling to Shanghai in a few weeks. I’m visiting the son and daughter in law of a close (French) friend. He is French, she is Chinese. They are in their late twenties. They have an IT business out of their home. They also have two dogs. They are quite spartan, so I don’t want to give a gift that isn’t meaningful. I would really like to take them something American…but what? Please help!
Thanks,
G
Wes Radez
Hi G, Sounds like fun! Local gifts are prized in Asia, particularly so in China. I’d think about bringing a handmade specialty from your city or town in the United States. Perusing your farmer’s market for local jams and jellies, nicely designed kitchen hand towels, soaps and the like are a good start. Google your city’s best gift shops for prints or other art pieces by local craftspeople. An item that’s unavailable in China and which speaks to where you’re from will make a great gift for your friends. ~Wes
Tony
Is there a common gift for an ill female colleague who has gone through recent surgery. I’ve known her for 5 years. She is in Hong Kong, I am in the USA.
Wes Radez
Hi Tony, thanks for your question. The traditional theme here is health and vitality. A classic gift would be clear chicken soup. Can you use a local food delivery service? One to avoid is cut flowers — they’re typically associated with funerals, so not a good gift for a sick friend. ~Wes
MariaDia
Hi Wes, I’m so glad I found your site. I asked a colleague to do me a favour and she went beyond what I expected. I would love to thank her for the time she took to translate and type up some instructions for an item I purchased. I thought of an orchid plant. Would this be a suitable gift? Living in Noosa, Queensland Australia there aren’t any places that would sell items appropriate for gifts. I haven’t got time to wait for postage from online stores. Thank you for your time. Maria
Wes Radez
Hi Maria, please take a look at the article I’ve written How To Send Flowers The Chinese Way for tips. Based on what you describe, a lotus flower could be your best choice. ~Wes
Liliana
Hello Wes, I’m renting a house from a Chinese couple who I would like to get them a thank you gift to thank them on letting my family and I rent their house and also they left a welcoming cake for us the day we moved in.? what do you suggest will put smiles and show respect to them? Thanks I look forward to your response.
Wes Radez
Hi Liliana, if you’ll refer to the section of the article under “Qualities of a Great Gift,” any of these ideas would work for you. Focus on quality, pick something local, fall back on sweetness and don’t forget presentation. Fine looseleaf tea, specialty chocolates or a good red wine, wrapped nicely in red and gold, would show your appreciation to your host. ~Wes
1Jaf
My son for his wedding will have a tea ceremony. His bride is Cantonese born and raised in the USA. We’re Filipino Americans. As parents, what are the appropriate amounts we should place in the red envelopes?
Wes Radez
Ah, it’s a great question! Let me check on this end and I’ll email you offline. ~Wes
Mary
Hi! I’m delighted to have found your site. My question is this: What do I present my future daughter-in-law when she visits my son (and meets me) in the U.S. for the first time? She is a lovely woman born and raised in China, a professor, researcher, doctor (PhD)… This will be her first trip to the states, and I have only met or spoken with her via Skype. Help!
Wes Radez
Hi Mary, great question! Here’s a reply from another mother-in-law.
“No need for anything substantial until the wedding, certainly NOT anything valuable like jewelry, in this case, a red envelope is NOT appropriate. Given they are engaged to be married, something personal like a scarve would be appropriate, but a box of chocolate would be too inpersonal, while any small gift including a box of candy would be appropriate from the girlfriend to the future mother-in-law.”
Hope this helps! ~Wes
Corine
Hi! Right now I’m doing a Chinese project for school and I am wondering if there is a typical gift you can give to everyone? Also, why is it specifically bad to give a clock and cut flowers for a gift? Thank You
Wes Radez
Hi Corine, thanks for your questions. Perhaps the most general purpose gift would be a red envelope filled with lucky money. You can get red envelopes with different designs for specific occasions. Check out this article for more. Clocks and cut flowers are considered bad luck because it represents either time running out on the one hand or the end of a friendship on the other. Hope that helps! ~Wes
Kris
Dear Wes,
Recently the company I work for was bought by 4 Chinese guys. They have been very kind and caring, inviting my coworker and I over for dinner many times. We are in the States and I was wondering if it would be appropriate to leave a gift bag of oranges and traditional Chinese candies at work for Christmas as I will be away from work before the actual holiday. Was curious as suggestions, I have looked for baijiu but cant seem to find any good brand around where we are located :/
Thank you,
-Kris
Wes Radez
Hi Kris, focus on the gesture and the relationship first, the gift second. Yes, the oranges are always a safe, traditional gift representing luck and abundance. As important, however, if offering them with the same spirit of kindness they’ve shown you. Good stuff. ~Wes
Diana
Hello, I actually had a few questions pertaining to one of my friends. He recently transferred from China to Florida about three months ago. We quickly became friends and I talk to him fairly often now. He is always polite and kind, so I tried giving him a mini pecan pie during October as a thank you, but I’ve been too nervous to ask him his thoughts since. I want to try giving him a gift again, but I am unsure of how close we are as friends or whether he would even like a gift. I would also like to know, is it appropriate for a non-asian female to offer going out to eat to a Chinese or Vietnamese friend? I have three Chinese and Two Vietnamese friends I would like to offer this to.
Thank you very much, I hope your days are going well!
Wes Radez
No need for nerves, Diana. Enjoy your friendship! ~Wes
Bob G
Hi Wes, I am very happy I found your site. My mother is 85 and has been helping another older couple from China get settled in her apartment building. They do not speak hardly any English nor her Chinese. They give her small gifts with a Chinese flare to it now and then as a thank you I’m sure. She would like to reciprocate with something in kind and it being Christmas. Would something more American in style be appropriate to share cultures in welcoming them and if so we don’t want to offend with something not appropriate (your don’t list is of help) but we feel so hesitant know what’s right.
Wes Radez
Hi Bob, I’d suggest going one step further and offering something specific to your local area. Making sure to avoid the general taboos I’ve mentioned above, a local specialty would not only avoid offense culturally, but would also serve as a way to welcome your new friends to the neighborhood. Sweet things, for a sweet life, are always a good place to start. ~Wes
Liz
My daughter-in-law is Chinese and has been in the US for 8+ years. We met her parents at the wedding in the US last summer, and had to communicate through translators, so we don’t know them hardly at all. We are going with my son and his wife to celebrate Chinese New Year with her family. We won’t be staying with them, but will interact with them while we are there, including the big Chinese New Year dinner. My son says we don’t need to bring a gift, but I think we should. Her parents are educators. What kind of gift(s) should we bring? Do we give just to her parents or also to other members of her family if they are there? Do we give the gifts the first time we see them (which might be before the dinner, as we arrive 2 days before it) or at the dinner? Should we have multiple gifts? Should we also offer to host them for a dinner out later in the week? Any other tips?
Wes Radez
What a great question, Liz. I’d start by reading the sections on this site devoted to Chinese New Year to generally familiarize yourself with what to expect at the reunion dinner, red envelope gifting and other holiday traditions. From there, I’d point you to your greatest resource — your daughter-in-law! Ask her for details about her family’s specific celebration — who will be there? any particularly cherished rituals? how traditional are her parents? That’s the crucial final mile! Here’s my general advice. It’s a great idea to bring a gift as a guest in their home on the day you arrive, even better if you can incorporate New Year themes. Something sweet, a local speciality from your town or round fruits are good starting points. Definitely participate in red envelope gifting at dinner for any kids and unmarried adults, at a minimum. Inviting them out for dinner later in the week is a nice idea, the spirit of reciprocity is a great instinct. Again, ask your daughter-in-law for her specific advice. Good luck! ~Wes
Linda
Grateful for your thoughtfully-written article. Thank you.
Wes Radez
Quite welcome, Linda. Glad you enjoyed it. ~Wes
Linda
Wes,
We have just sold our home and understand that the gentleman and his son are Chinese.
Would like to leave them something that welcomes them to their new home, with wish of good luck and respecting their culture.
What would you suggest?
Thank you
Linda
Wes Radez
Hi Linda, you’re definitely on the right track. A warm welcome to the home and many years of happiness. Here are a few ideas to convey these universal sentiments in a culturally-appropriate way. A bowl of fresh round fruit. A nice bottle of red wine. A flowering potted orchid. No cut flowers, clocks or knives. ~Wes
Amanda
Hello Wes. My sweet neighbor is always sharing wonderful homemade dishes (made by her mother) and treats from her town in China. Everything is SO yummy! How can I thank her, and her mother? (I’m not a good cook) I’m thinking maybe a nice note saying how much I enjoy all the food and perhaps a basket of round fruit or bottle of red wine?
Wes Radez
Sounds like a wonderful friend to have, Amanda! By all means, do something culturally-appropriate, but don’t overthink it. A heartfelt note is a great starting point and a basket of beautiful round fruit is a safe choice (just no pears!). Show how much the relationship means to you and you’re in a good place! ~Wes
Brig
I recently moved into a complex, and met my next door neighbor today, a Chinese man who is seldom here. He introduced himself and gave me a box of Chinese tea from China. I helped him find a company to do some maintenance. He will bring his wife next time so I can meet her. I feel I should reciprocate for his gift of tea and friendship. Would a small handmade pottery teapot be an acceptable gift of friendship?
Wes Radez
More than the specific gift, Brig, the reciprocity is the thing. Fresh fruit, a small item like a tea pot, both sound like good ideas. ~Wes
LaR
Hey could you please recommend me a wedding gift that I can give my close Chinese friend, If I have to post it. Because I may probably wont be able to go to his ceremony. He is type of western and huge basketball fan. And I am far away from him.
Wes Radez
Hi LaR, given the circumstances, a red envelope might be your best bet. ~Wes
Jackson Gilbert
It’s a complete guide for me that gave me some amazing ideas. I met my chinese friend online due to some project work and now we are like best buddies. In coming few days he is living the project and I want to give him a farewell gift. This post made my search a lot easy. Thanks for sharing these ideas.
Wes Radez
You’re welcome, Jackson. Glad the guide was helpful! ~Wes
Lizbeth
My son is getting married in a few months to a sweet Chinese girl who was born in the US. We are meeting the family for the first time and I would like to seek your advice on what presents to give to the parents and grandmother. Thank you.
Wes Radez
Wonderful, Lizbeth! I think you’ll find good advice in the comment thread! ~Wes
A19
I am from the UK and my boyfriend is Chinese (from Shanghai) and I am spending the upcoming Chinese New Year with him and his family. I was wondering what gifts would be appropriate to give his parents and grandparents?
Would really appreciate your help!
Wes Radez
Wonderful, A19! That should be a fun experience. Sweets and local specialities are generally good places to start for family gifts. You’ll find more specific advice in this comment thread and over in my Chinese New Year guide. ~Wes
Kay
My son recently started dating a woman from China. This past weekend she came to our home for dinner so we could meet her. We gave her a nicely bound journal/notebook and a set of pens. I thought this would be a good gift, since she’s in the US working on her PhD. She said nothing and wouldn’t even acknowledge the gift. What did I do wrong? I’m embarrassed that I may have offended her. Your article was so informative. I wish I had read it before gift buying!
Wes Radez
Hi Kay, I couldn’t speculate, but it may be worth a call to your son to inquire. ~Wes
Dana
My daughter has an amazing male Chinese ballet professor who has changed her life. The class as a whole wants to provide him a thank you gift after their upcoming performance. What do think is an appropriate thank you gift for a man?
Wes Radez
Hi Dana, it’s difficult to say without more information about the teacher and your relationship. How traditional is the teacher? How formal is your relationship? and, How serious is the occasion? ~Wes
Dana
He is very traditional, but he is informal and personal with his students (including my daughter), and shares a lot of wisdom with them, and a lot of stories about his life, both here and in China. I know he loves gardening and my daughter says he loves Kung Fu, and he is still an incredible dancer. This performance is one of two big performances they do each year at college, so it is serious to him and the students. Their dance is choreographed by him and is about the life of the butterfly. Thank you for your help. He gives 100% to his students. – Dana
Wes Radez
That’s helpful information, Dana. Sounds like an incredible person! I might suggest a flower and a gift — either orchids (for nobility, wisdom and virtue) or a lotus (for purity, achievement and overcoming adversity) and a sweet local specialty from your corner of the world (for sweetness in life). A few other considerations…no white or yellow flowers or cut flowers, focus on quality above all else and convey the sentiments (such as above) you wish to send in either a card or verbally to express gratitude and respect for his teaching. Hope that helps! ~Wes
Stephanie
Presenting something only found in America is a good gesture, but from personal experience, almost every Chinese person living in the US is searching for foods they used to eat in China even though they enjoy pizzas, KFC at times. It’s simply a difference in our palate. Some students can’t even adapt to eating American food at all. What you want is to make an exchange student feel at home. May I suggest you consider giving her half American foods and half Chinese so that you could tell right away what appeals to her more. I don’t know what she likes to eat, maybe you can buy some noodles, dumplings, buns, fresh soy milk (not SILK brand) from an Asian grocery.
Wes Radez
Hi Stephanie, thank you for sharing this wonderful advice about gifts for recent exchange students from China. That’s definitely a unique case! ~Wes